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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I'm Sally O'Malley and I'm 50 years old!

WTH? How did THAT happen? I swear I remember just yesterday walking across the yard at my parent's farm, looking down at my hand holding out 5 fingers and thinking "I am 5  years that's pretty old!" Now here I a few days I hit the big 5-0. I think I may just go with Roman numerals and tell people I am "L"..sounds better. I feel bemused,amused,confused. I don't FEEL eyesight feels 50. I can't see close up or far away..I do have a span from 3-6 feet away that is pretty sweet tho'!

 My feet and knees and back feel 50..oh OK..some days 150! This past year I have came to the decision that my Statin cholesterol meds were taking a huge toll on my joints. I have switched to diet, supplements and exercise..oh and supplements.. to hopefully keep my levels at a reasonable level.When I get up in the morning it sounds like I am walking on bubble wrap..snap,crackle pop. I am hoping my joints brain fog has definitely improved!

My hair feels 50..oh OK..100. I got my first white hair at 16 and if I didn't color it it would be 90% white at this point. I told myself in my 30's and 40's that when I hit 50 I would chop it short and let it go white. Not quite on board with that idea yet! I was eyeing Miley Cyrus's new haircut the other day and thinking, "hmmm..maybe platinum blond?" But alas, I have olive skin and I don't think platinum is in the cards for me (and yes, I also begin sentences with prepositions..I'm just a rebel that way!) Maybe I'll go bright pink or Katy Perry blue...hmm..wonder what reaction that would get at church on Sunday? "What happened?! Did you lose a bet?"..maybe not.
Apparently my ovaries still think I am in the game and they are not going quietly into the good night. Instead, after a few months of apparent napping, they have found another egg under the ovarian couch to toss down the tubes at me. I bet that sucker was covered with dust bunnies.. I did have the joy 2 summers ago of going to Walgreen's to purchase a pregnancy test just for my own peace of mind. I also bought wrinkle cream..2 purchases that should NEVER be made together. I asked the cashier, "Which is or just old?" (She voted for baby!) So Happy 50th birthday to me, my body gave me one more period..   ....    ..     ...  .. . .          .   

My face doesn't think I'm 50..maybe pushing 40..oh OK..pulling 40 behind me on a cart. I have noticed laugh lines which I am OK with, but I am getting these bitchy little lines at the corners of my mouth. I already have what is refered to as "chronic bitch face"so these are not helpful. I have dark hair and eyes and even when I think I have a normal pleasant expression on my face I get passive aggressive assholes telling me to "Cheer up!" "It's not that bad!" or my person fav "Who pissed in your Cheerios?"which makes me want to beat them senseless ( Gee thanks random stranger dude..great pickup line by the way..has that one worked like..ever?)...OK..maybe I am a bitch! I have grown a bit of a wattle under my chin and to my horror, I found out last summer I have old lady under arms. I was wearing a sleevless top and had my arm out the window of the car and caught the reflection in the side mirror..EGADS! I guess I could do a bunch of bicep/tricep/armpit excercises but I have pretty much just decided on No Sleeveless Tops. I was sprouting an extra boob there for awhile between my bra band and my armpit, but I lost 20 pounds eating like a diabetic with my newly  diabetic husband and happily that went away..just when I was trying to figure out how to wrangle it into my bra cups!

 My neck and chest are getting weird lines reminiscent of rings in a slice of tree...tracking those ill-spent summers of bikinis and baby oil. I keep chasing my now 20 year old daughters with sunscreen telling them, "You'll be sorry!" The mirror in the morning is usually not my friend. Some days my oustanding bedhead display (curly hair) can momentarily distract me. Some days it is so crazy I have to go show my daughter.."Look at THIS!"..sometimes it is Albert Einstein or Don King and last week I swear it was a cockatiel mohawk!

 I have developed 2 "sun spots" which is a nice way of saying "age spots" under each eye. They sort of look like 2 of those tears gang bangers get tattooed on when they whack someone..not schmexy. I always thought I'd age gracefully..I remember my Gramma whom I very strongly resemble as white haired and squishy and always in a dress.And theeeen there was Demi Frickin' Moore and that old lady Cameron Diaz...crap.Thanks for setting the bar low, ladies! Soooo last night I was in the old lady section of KMart perusing the face creams...WTH happened there by the way? There used to be Ponds and Noxema and Oil of Olay in a pink bottle ..and that was pretty much it! Now it is an entire aisle! There are so many creams, lotions, serums, cleansers, scrubs, foams, fillers, spackle...holy crap. I didn't even know I HAD that many issues! I grabbed my old stand by (white "Oil of OldLAdY") and a cream that promised to "even my tone" and fade my gang banger tears 90-63-32%...if I am "85% of the women who use this" which I am probably not! $38 freaking bucks later....well at least it smells good. (I think a couple bottles of vodka would have had the same blurring effect..or cheaper lightbulbs above the bathroom sink.)

My mind doesn't think I am 50. I am actually a lot smarter and much more fearless than my younger years..thank goodness! I can still see a cute young guy and blush on the inside like I'm 16..but then he calls me Ma'ame... *sigh*. Sometimes I feel like I need a caption under me like on the nightly news "Former Hottie" "Used To Be Cool" LOL. I am blessed with a great husband and kids and family so actually 50 isn't that big of a deal to I am in denial anyways..or maybe I am so old I forget how old I am and it doesn't matter! I guess I just need to embrace it like good old Sally O'Malley from Saturday Night Live..I wonder where she gets those nifty pants....I think I have this purse already...

Sunday, August 26, 2012

The Weekend Gathering antique show

 Hi guys! I wanted to share what I was up to this weekend. I had a show in Knoxville..The Gathering Show which is a antique/vintage/handmade show. The lady that runs it used to have these shows in Nashvillle and I did a couple but it was 2 1/2 hours away and I had little kids then so it wasn't a good fit for me..even though they were cool shows! She contacted me a couple months back. She has started doing the shows in Knoxville which is just 40 miles or so away..I was In Like Flynn! (whatever the heck that means.. I was going!) Note my poor minivan....
 The show set up was Friday morning and my husband was at work and couldn't help and my daughter was at college so she was out too until the afternoon.Thankfully her friend watched the grandson so I didn't have his "help"...not sure how he would have fit in the van anyways!
 I mayyyy have overpacked! I had to take all my displays/infrastructure and my goodies!
 I had room left for one huge coffee and one big Mt. Dew and that was it! (Caffeine loading!)
 I schlepped all my stuff in and just piled it up. It was an indoor show but I wanted my tent to hang things off of. Some snooty old dealer dude walked by and very snottily said, "Expecting rain?" I was elbows deep in unloading and all hot and sweaty and didn't catch his snark and said (as I thought he was commenting about the actual weather) "Oh I hope not..I hear it might rain later tonight." He just looked at me and blinked and wandered off shaking his head..a few minutes later it sank it what he was talking about and I was like "HEY!" Forever slow on the uptake...
 The Stank doll sold! (see previous post) The lady that bought her said she knew these old plastic doll have a "weird smell" but she kinda liked it. I did not argue! I sold several dolls and tons of vintage doll clothes. This white shelf is a piece of crud my husband drug home. I painted it white and added chicken wire on the back and it is actually quite handy to display off of.
 I had 4 vintage and upcycled can see the bottom of an old mesh one here. This "table" is actually 4 huge plastic totes ..2 stacked on each end..and 3 boards for the top covered w/ old damask tablecloths. It takes up almost no extra space in my van and it is very handy!
 A lot of people liked my old crib spring. I snatched it out of my garden where it was being used as a trellis. I sprayed it w/ a couple coats of matte sealer to keep the rust off things and wired it to my tent post. It laid flat on the floor of my van and was the first thing I loaded..taking up almost zero room. I clothes-pinned vintage doll clothes on it and when the doors opened it was immediately wiped out. This is like the 3rd group of doll clothes I put on it..first time I had a minute to snap a couple pix! The sectional mannequin sold and is off to a new home. I will miss her! Those metal star/gear/flower things on the floor are old rotary disc blades we picked up this summer in SD..they have a great look! (The other thing is a tractor seat) My pics turned out SO BAD..I don't know what I had my camera set on but it was not the right setting. My eyesight is so bad that all the pics look blurry anyways when I check my camera so I just thought it was my eyes not the pix! I was soooo bummed when I got home and downloaded these pics!
 Blurrier.. I had lots of girly stuff..pretty can cans and lots of vintage baby dresses. That is 2 of my new totes hanging off the end and wire baskets of wooden letterpress type blocks and aqua mason jars on the floor.
 A dishpan of silverplate and the coolest wire basket/bin w/ my new upcycled vintage ticking pillows..
 This is the outside of my booth. I added a clothes line to hang vintage aprons on. I had 3 different people want to buy my ladder rack (umm sorry..I had that baby loaded and use it in all my shows!) and one lady tried to buy my shoes..I had taken them off because my feet started hurting and had them next to my chair! Why is it always the one thing in your booth that is not for sale is what people ask about buying?!
 This cute tin toy cabinet sold. I had quite a few Fire King Jadeite bowls and other pieces.
 My new vintage lace cuffs and upcycled hardware necklaces and an altered mannequin head. They are sitting on pedestals I made from big gears and chunky wooden bases w/ added vintage crystals.
 This vintage mail sorter sold to another was cool!
 My upcycled torso manni sported a vintage bra-let and some of my necklaces..
 An old drawer I spiffed up stood on end and held very "Marie" faux cupcakes of mine and organza and vintage bead flower pins and clips.
 Eat Cake!
 Some of my vintage scarf pins and some altered votives and upcycled vintage cobalt bottles..
 Here's the ladder display holding quilts, spreads, curtains and tablecloths. That is a basket on the floor that I made from vintage wire garden is holding some of my paper hand dyed peony pins. They are not really for a lapel..more to pin on a curtain or pillow or lampshade ..or pin to a ribbon and tie them on anyplace!
 Baby dresses on handmade twig and wire hangers, a handpainted table and a map covered vintage suitcase..I needed to charge a "Oh how cute" fee on that one! It was only $25 but I still have it.
 Upcycled doily and vintage ticking pillow and vintage tablecloths..
 This is the banner my 4 yr old grandson Hunter and I made..he was all about the glittering! (he gets that from his Nina)
 I painted the letters on old dictionary pages. I made oversized "tags" from manilla folders and glued cute scrapbook paper on, then the letter. Then we added black glitter dots for some pizazz. I punched 2 holes at the top and threaded them on twill tape to hang. They slide along so I can make it longer if I need to. I really like how this turned out!
 Some of my handstamped Christmas stockings..
 closer look..
 Clock face ornaments I made from pics of clockfaces in my stash/collection and vintage buttons and glitter.
 A vintage doll head and a crown I made from vintage lace and pearl beads..
 2 of my upcycled trophies...
 Old patterns were $3 ..I have some cool ones!
 Close up of my antique sheet music manni. She wore a pale pink corset cover w/ some of my handmade paper rosette clips clipped on her.
 Vintage roll up map of Brazil peeking through the those colors!
And last pic ... tons of vintage hankies vintage baby bonnets, croquet balls and vintage cobblers lasts/shoe forms that I painted. It was a pretty good show and I did well. I think this show will only get better as it goes along..this was only the second show in Knoxville. I plan to do it again in November..but boooooy do I ache in every bone and muscle of my body! Time to regroup tomorrow! Hope you had a great weekend! Til next time! Julia

Thursday, August 16, 2012


 Hi guys! My posts are so random..I was trying to title this one and just gave up! Today I am basically sharing what I was up to today. My life is one giant, weird, tangenting ADD mess! I usually have 15 projects going at once..sometimes they are just "going" in my brain waiting for me to actually put them into play. My day usually goes like so..I am doing "something" and decide I need coffee..go in kitchen, take out trash..see the cats need feeding, have to pee..see towels that need washing.. start laundry and fold a load of clothes that were in the dryer, wander through livingroom and check Facebook, get Hunter a drink and start his DVD or computer game..try to figure out how he is supposed to PLAY his video game, wander back through the kitchen and remember that I had wanted coffee and try to remember what I was doing in the first place! These first few pics are of my "Mapples" apples. I had a box of wooden apples from an estate sale. I tried to sell them in my booth as is but only sold a few... sooo..project time! I decided to make photo holders. The above one I covered w/ strips of vintage map, vintage ledger paper and vintage dictionary text. On most of these I added a black leaf with white "stitching". NOTE I had to remove the above pic because it is going into a magazine and they want photos of it off the internet until it is published. So yay!
 The left one I painted with chalkboard paint and added a map leaf (and temporarily, me and my honey's initials). The other is Pride and Predjudice text.
 A brighter vintage map and one of my fav vintage clue who they are but I refer to him as "Jude Law".
 Antique sheet music..
 A more pastel vintage map. When life gives you apples..make photo holders??
 This little lady has been a troublemaker. I got her this summer when we were in SD. She was in a box on the front porch of an antique mall and had a fab price (that should have been a heads up). I kept her in the minivan and the next day the whole car reeked! I accused my people of all sorts of indelicate things and made everyone check their shoes for poo. I finally figured out it was HER! She smelled of a combo of vomit and things I don't even want to type! She hung around in my downstairs and my daughter who slept down there complained of her stink. They 2 girls told me she was possessed and was emitting her evilness through her smell. She is composition/hard old plastic..she is unmarked and looks to be a Madame Alexander knock off. I searched the web and it said to rub her down with white vinegar..bad idea..then she stunk of her usual odor AND pickles. I put her outside in the sun on the grass all afternoon. My husband came home and looked out the back door at her and said,"What did she do? Has she been naughty?" Nope..just smelly. She came in and got a Comet wipe down/scrub. I didn't want to get water inside her as I was not sure that was a good idea as I was unsure if she was composition or not. The Comet helped but stillllll....maybe Febreze?! While she was in time out I did snap a few nude photos of her.
 She creeps out my daugthers but she is photogenic!
 So if you know anything about de-stinking all means share! (It is not is some smell that eminates from the plastic itself.)
 This morning found me dying vintage slips. I had a bunch of white ones..
 which are now a bunch of pink ones! There were a couple butterflies that loved them, but they wouldn't let me get a close up (there is a little one sitting on the clothesline)
I hope nobody has arachnaphobia! This guy was hanging off my son's basketball hoop. He was huge.. about 3-4 inches across. He had a bug he was wrapping up but my incessant paparazzi-ing freaked him out and he dropped his bundle! So basically my day was glue, glue, glue, dye, dye dye, price price, price, pic,pic, pic..ooh look..a spider! Then tonight I was reading online that red hands can be a sign of liver damage/disease and was momentarily freaked by my red hands..until I remembered I hadn't wore any gloves this morning while dyeing all those pink slips! (whew!) Hoping you all had a productive day! Til next time! Julia (dang it..I can still smell that doll..I think she needs to go back downstairs!)