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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Brazillian Butt Lift workout

OH..My..God..Becky...Look. At. Her. Butt!
Hi guys! Well..last night my daughter came with me to the gym and pushed/bullied/guilted me into giving the Brazil Butt Lift workout a whirl. I was perfectly happy to ride the bike and watch Criminal Minds but alas..it was not to be. The aeorobics room at the gym is a mirror lined fun house of horrors. I usually avoid looking at myself in a full length mirror as I am at least 25 lbs over my goal weight. When I look down I can't see past my boobs so I think I am looking pretty good! *SIGH* What a reality check. Not only am I chubby..apparently I have lost all my balance and any hope of getting down on the floor and back up in a graceful dignified manner. The words "lumbering, wounded water buffalo" sprang to mind! At least we were all alone back there.
The Brazillian Butt Lift workout DVD dude is ..wait for it..Brazillian. His accent was sort of a combination of Sophia Vergara and somehow Arnold Schwartzenegger. I really couldn't understand all he was saying except "POOOOOOSh the air" and "this is good for your boom-boom." Luckily he had a herd of skinny beotches (judge judge) to display the correct form. Some of those gals didn't even HAVE butts! I guess they wore them off. If I had a bod like that, I would be shopping or strolling the streets in a bikini not working out..but that should clue you into my afore mentioned chubby state. (Not that I stroll the streets in a bikini)
We started off with sort of a dance..foot to the side, front, back and in...add swinging your arms. Holy crap..when did I get so uncoordinated?! I was always about a step behind and kept mixing up my back and my front. Sheesh. OK down on the floor for the exercises. This is where the fun came in..and the moaning and involitary screams. I think I may have scared a couple guys out in the weight room. We did have fun though..laughing at me..wondering if there was a hidden camera in there and worrying about a video showing up on Youtube. I decided it would get as many hits as that one chubby gal who was singing and dancing on her coffee table and got bucked off. Then my daughter was wondering if any of those skinny gals ever cut the cheese..ahh..good times ..good times. It actually wasn't TOTAL Hell..that would have been if there were others in the room besides us.
The Brazillian dude said if we do the DVD for 60 days we will have tight lifted boom booms. I agree..if I live that long! I did make it out of bed this morning to take my son to school so maybe it wasn't so bad after all! I really need to do some sort of mathmatical equation to figure out if the pain is worth the fanny..I need to factor in less pain and a good pair of Spanx and the chances of an almost 50 year old ever wearing a bikini anywhere ever again. Maybe I'll just stick to the bike and Shemar Moore!
(PS ..Never Google "Brazillian Butt Lift images"! LOL)

3 comments:

Sweet Posy Dreams said...

So funny! I'm with you, I never look in a full length mirror if I can help it, and I better be fully clothed when I do!

Soulmade said...

Hey, let's go for the lifted bum!
We can do it!!!

our home to yours said...

Oh girl...I feel your pain. lol. I never exercise in public, I prefer to keep my affair with Richard Simmons a secret in my living room. And I've even been standing him up lately. hahaha
when you got that "boom boom" be sure and let us know.
Debbi
-yankeeburrowcreations